There's Your Karma, Ripe As Peaches

You'll find me to be a rabid supporter of Arsenal FC and England football, as well as a penitent but loyal Oakland Raiders and New York Yankees fan. I have no affection for the Men's US National Soccer Team and find the MLS to be more painful to watch than an exorcism; I will eagerly bash both without regret. Actually, I bash everything without regret but that is neither here nor there.

RANDOM FAQ:

• Why are you so pissed all the time?
  
• I am naturally wound a little tight and have a pretty short fuse... it also doesn't help matters that I suffer from a serious Napoleon complex and have a chip on my shoulder about a mile wide. I'd say a vein pops out in the middle of my forehead around 10-12 times each day, usually over mundane things like slow walkers on the sidewalk, jerks ordering 8 complex foot longs at Subway, and the way Stuart Scott's glass eye ever so subtly drifts to the left during the hour on Sports Center.
  
• Are you American?
  
• I hold dual nationality with the United Kingdom but give the United States two enthusiastic thumbs up, except, again, when it comes to soccer.
  
• How are you a Yankee fan and a Raiders fan too?
  
• I've been conditioned from birth. I had no say in the matter and don't care to change things now but the state of affairs in Oakland is testing my resolve.
  
• Are you down with the sweet baby Jesus?
• I'm Jewish but Jesus seems like a right bloke and I'm down with a lot of the message.
  
• Can you speak the Jewish language?
• I speak Hebrew, if that's what you mean. I also speak bagels & lox. So get at me if you want to know about that tasty goodness.
  
• R u German? U got like an arian (sic) look goin!
• My father is an American Indian and my mother is a random English white woman, so I don't think they'd let me play in their reindeer games. I have a form of albinism that results in a significant lack of pigment in my hair and eyes. I know I look like Hitler Youth but I'm an Apache Jew... too bad it's not 1942; I could join an infiltration unit.
• What does There's your karma ripe as peaches mean? What's it have to do with sports?
  
• It's a quote by Jack Kerouac from his book Desolation Angels. Read it and you might figure that out.