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Nice Game, Pretty Boy!There's something special about the body's reaction to loss of consciousness. I don't know if it's the way the knees buckle or the amusing manner in which the arms go limp and fall lifelessly to a person's sides but I do know one thing -- It's cases like this that make me glad the NHL has returned. Check out Brian Campbell of the Buffalo Sabres (cleanly) welcoming Philly Flyers rookie R.J. Umberger to the NHL [PS. The cartoon-sized eyes are pretty good too]:
In other news, Keith Hernandez has proven himself to be an even bigger douchebag than his self-portrayal in the Seinfeld episode "The Boyfriend." During the second inning of the Mets-Padres game last Saturday, Mike Piazza managed another homerun and after returning to the dugout, he high fived Kelly Calabrese, a full-time massage therapist for the club. Hernandez spotted the shenanigans and had a mild freakout -- "Who is the girl in the dugout, with the long hair?... What's going on here? You have got to be kidding me. Only player personnel in the dugout." He was later advised that Calabrese has been with the Padres' training staff since 2004 but stood by his comment that she didn't belong with the team during a game. "I won't say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout," Hernandez said. He then laughed and said: "You know I am only teasing. I love you gals out there -- always have." That was pretty funny since we all know the only place Keith loves to see the "gals" is on his penis. I'd ask where Keith was when the rest of us joined the 21st century but it's probably safe to assume that he was reliving the good old days in a coke den somewhere with other members of the '86 Mets and missed the memo. As such, here's a note to other men that ever need to apologize for being chauvenist pricks -- Put the Keith Hernandez method at the top of the "how not to" list and avoid using the word gals in the apology. If you do, the only thing people will believe is that you're an outdated, facetious wanker... either that or you're a candidate to join the other estrogen-deficient senior citizens in my Bubbe's Mah-Jongg club. Update: Click here for the audio of Keith having a flashback to 1913 (Hattip: Matt Geiger)
 Posted at April 24, 2006 5:19 AM Permalink • Filed under: General Sports |
Comments (10): Nice Game, Pretty Boy!
Aaron H.
April 24, 2006 8:15 AM
goddamn that was vicious. Is there a clip for the top 10 hockey hits the way there was for mound charges?
Katy
April 24, 2006 11:27 AM
Yeah.. gal is an awful word. My grandma says it to talk about all women over the age of 30 or so and my grandpa says it when he's bashing women that can't drive. Hopefully that'll get phased out soon, haha
Ron Patrick
April 24, 2006 12:35 PM
That might be the worst hit I've seen in hockey. I hope the kid's alright but that'll teach him to get his head up.
Matt Geiger
April 24, 2006 2:01 PM
It's nice to see the Sabres in the playoffs again, but why do they always play the Flyers? That's what it seems like anyway... it doesn't matter, Flyers suck anyway :)
Anyway, here's the audio if anyone is interested:
http://www.michaelgladden.com/WhosTheGirlInTheDugout.mp3
Matt Geiger
April 24, 2006 2:02 PM
Sorry for not clarifying, the above is the audio for the Hernandez thing.
Brendan
April 24, 2006 3:52 PM
His opinions are about as dated as that pornstache.
Anthony
April 24, 2006 4:41 PM
I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt at first because it sounded like he was making a joke but then he couldn't let it go. What an asshole.
Jake Needler
April 24, 2006 6:24 PM
Hernandez is a dick for this but his woman gripes aside, what's a massage therapist doing in the dugout? Is this common? I thought they hung out in the clubhouse.
Patton
April 24, 2006 10:22 PM
So was there any word on Umberger's (possible) injury? Is he okay?
Anderson
April 25, 2006 12:08 AM
http://www.nhl.com/news/2006/04/270046.html
He was out for the game tonight. He claimed that he was fine in the pregame skate but it looks like he was just trying to get one over on them.