There's Your Karma, Ripe As Peaches

Mussina Gives Torre the Treatment

Mike Mussina pitched a gem in Detroit last night, scattering six hits over a complete game. But in the bottom of the ninth with only one out left in a bid for his 24th career shutout, Alex Rodriguez made an error that allowed Placido Polanco to score. So naturally, Torre tried to come out of the dugout to make a pitching change, which is what you'd expect that right? A pitcher loses his shutout bid and since it's not 1940 where the starter goes until his arm falls off, you send in the closer. But no, not here.

Torre hardly got a foot on the field when Mussina got aggressive and shouted, "Get back in there!" According to Moose, "They shouldn't have scored at all, so I just wanted to finish it." I know Torre had already been out there once and Moose really wanted to do this on his own but damn! Check out the fury:

Who knew Mike Mussina had such rage? Who could have guessed that he'd fly out of his shell over something like this?!

I officially love this guy!! I know, I know - where has the love been all this time? You'll have trouble believing this but Moose has never captured my attention - at least, not at the level that he deserves. Though he's been consistently good and often great, he's never been the best. He’s finished in the top six in Cy Young award voting eight times and hasn't won the award. He’s finished in the top 10 in ERA nine times but has never led the league. He’s finished in the top 10 in wins eight times but still can't find 20 games. He's had brushes with perfection but has become the captain of the near miss. And the biggest of all, he still has no World Series. It's this "almost but not quite" career that has left me grossly (and unfairly) underwhelmed with Moose. Further, I've seen his reserved nature as a lack of passion and have wrongly attributed that to his present level of success.

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. I was wrong and am a horrible person and spoiled fan; the shame I'm feeling is immense. But I'm all over the Moose bandwagon now. That counts for something right? Yeah... probably not :(

*Update: YouTube video

In other news, remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry and his girlfriend made out during Schindler's List? His parents were in town and they didn't have a place to hook up, Jerry had 3 weeks of blue balls and ended up succumbing to his penis' will while Jews were being carted off to concentration camps in the opening scenes. Newman was there and ratted them out their parents [You were necking during... Schindler's List?!]

Well the same thing just went down during a showing of a far less powerful film with a racist, slow-witted douchepump, who, unlike Jerry Seinfeld, fears the #7 train to Shea. Last week at the Chelsea Cinemas John Rocker and his model girlfriend, Alicia Marie (who is black, randomly enough), made out like the ship was goin down during The Da Vinci Code and "spent the entire damned movie rubbing noses, kissing, biting, touching each other and feeding each other candy."

Now, Da Vinci Code is no Schindler's List but it is not, in any way, shape, or form a movie worthy of such behavior. Christ, it's not even something you should pay to see! Wait until that shit comes out on TBS and then fool around. Don't waste your hard-earned Long Island Ducks dollars sucking face and eating Milk Duds while Tom Hanks gives the worst performance of his career. That is madness.

Shame on you, John Rocker. Even though you're in an interracial relationship now and supposedly live in Queens, I'm still giving you a thumbs down. You probably didn't even bother to take off you trucker hat while you got it on. Wanker.

Posted at June 1, 2006 11:41 AM

Comments (8): Mussina Gives Torre the Treatment

Brendan	June 1, 2006 12:43 PM
	I was watching the game and that might be the funniest thing I've seen in baseball this year.

Patton Maxwell	June 1, 2006 3:20 PM
	I just don't get why people pay money to go make out somewhere. What's he trying to show off the fact that he's with a black girl and should be eligible for his non-racist card? That guy's a fucking idiot.

Nathan Arrington	June 1, 2006 3:44 PM
	Now that Moose has had this outburst, it'll be 5 years before he manages to make another facial expression.

NFL Adam	June 1, 2006 6:20 PM
	Another guy who goes on my list of valuable fantasty dudes. That CG category is a female dog.

Matt Geiger	June 1, 2006 9:08 PM
	http://youtube.com/watch?v=rlGGXEOBSXQ&search=mussina that's video of it, not sure how long it will last. the interviews are pretty funny :)

Amateur	June 1, 2006 10:08 PM
	I officially love this guy!! I know, I know - where has the love been all this time? You'll have trouble believing this but Moose has never captured my attention - at least, not at the level that he deserves. You know, Mussina's a Stanford man. I'm just sayin'.

Flash	June 4, 2006 7:31 PM
	Yeah he is but I don't hate Stanford. Sometimes they're a little annoying but on the whole, they simply aren't good enough to warrant strong feelings.

Hadrian	June 5, 2006 2:37 PM
	I didn't realize this incident was so light hearted. I only saw the preview for the story on Sports Center and they made it out to be this huge blowup... typical I guess.