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Suit: NBA Player Was Cranking One Off During Car Crash
The two officers that responded to the scene didn't test Griffin for alcohol and eventually did him a solid by driving him home even though video reveals that Griffin admitted his drunken state to witnesses and even offered to buy the victim a new car. However, when Griffin spoke to reporters, he said that he'd dropped his cell phone while driving and that's why he plowed into the vehicle. Thanks to an internal affairs investigation and a recently filed civil lawsuit, the web of lies has unraveled to reveal a rather sticky situation. The Suburban owner's lawsuit against Griffin maintains that not only was the Timberwolves center drunk, he was also masturbating and watching porn when the collision occurred. To make matters worse, he admitted as much to Abed Hassuneh, the victim's brother: "... he was masturbating himself going down that street... he was not paying attention. He's paying attention to that video and all of a sudden he's shoveled somebody's car on the top of the sidewalk." Apparently, this hard-on has a DVD player mounted in the dashboard of his Cadillac Escalade and couldn't wait until he got home (or to an empty parking lot) to have a go at himself. What must one's life be like to be so desperate for orgasm that you have to watch porn and stroke it while tooling through a grocery store parking lot? At first I thought, "Well, it's no worse than road head." But then I smartened up because no matter how dangerous road head becomes when the guy reaches his limits, at least you have another person there doing the job. At least you can keep both hands on the wheel if need be. But that's not the case here! What if you get dizzy? What if your body starts with the involuntary movements? I have an ex-boyfriend who got the jimmy legs so bad, oral sex became a seriously dangerous proposition and I took a knee to the fuckin ribs. I can't imagine what would happen if his foot was on the gas and he was the only person around! But forget the involuntary movements for a second, what about your mental function? When you get off, you go blank. You simply go retarded. As far as I'm concerned, a man is far more impaired post-nut than he could ever dream of being while simply drunk. And if you can get arrested for DUI, shouldn't it be illegal to jerk and drive? Even though the guy reaches his state through different means, in the end, he's still fucked up and needn't be behind the wheel... A legislator needs to get on this issue. [HT: David Barbour]  Posted at June 30, 2006 10:08 AM Permalink • Filed under: NBA , Sex |
Way back in March, Eddie Griffin of the Minnesota Timberwolves [and not Undercover Brother] crashed into a parked Suburban outside Santana Foods in Minneapolis.
Comments (5): Suit: NBA Player Was Cranking One Off During Car Crash
braylon
June 30, 2006 3:37 PM
"a man is far more impaired post-nut than he could ever dream of being while simply drunk," says the girl that rolls over and dies after orgasm. You'd better point that finger at yourself, short stack!
Sawyer
June 30, 2006 4:46 PM
That just about sums it up :) Consider yourself owned, Rip van Winkle!
But on to the jerk and drive.. I know in California it's illegal to have a tv that the driver can see. How is it not like that everywhere? Monitors in the front seat area shouldn't even be an option.
Joey Baker
June 30, 2006 6:47 PM
Should we be glad that Griffin has at least finally learned how to avoid violent crimes like beating up and shooting his girlfriend?
Mickey Winans
June 30, 2006 8:44 PM
Is there no good pussy in Minnesota? Sex boats? Beating off while you drive? Where are the groupies to prevent this kind of shit?
Nixon
June 30, 2006 11:06 PM
I passed a guy on the highway once who was going to town on himself but he wasn't watching any porn. Then again, he was driving a Ford Escort, so the dashboard porn probably wasn't in the budget.