There's Your Karma, Ripe As Peaches

The Hall of Fame Game (Tame Version)

Life became a little more hectic as of 0430 yesterday morning, so I was unable to bitch and moan about the Raiders play in the Hall of Fame Game as planned.

As such, I only have this to say: Not. Good. Enough. ... I just realized that "I only have this to say" basically strikes 3 paragraphs of things I had to say. Pretend you didn't read that. Instead, here are a few toned down thoughts on the game and my current opinion on my favorite football team. If you want to know what the original was like, drop 15 or 20 f-bombs and spend the next 15 minutes pouting and screaming about something you can't fix. At least three times, you must look to the heavens, shake your fist at the Almighty, and ask him why it's so much to ask for Al Davis to die. Once you're through with that, you'll have an idea of what I was getting at.

Five minutes before kickoff Sunday night, I was reacquainted with an old friend -- Dread. With the exception of bye weekends, Dread visits me five minutes prior to kickoff on every Sunday between September and January.. we tend to have a pretty nice time. I eat wings and down pints while Dread mocks me and my fanship. It's an odd relationship but it works well for us. Seeming as Sunday was a meaningless pre-season game, and the first one at that, I hoped I wouldn't get beaten down by apprehension, fear, and anger but alas. It was not to be.

In the time that it took the kick returner to catch the ball and get mauled to the ground 7 yards later, I'd gone from zero to pissed. I was enraged over our ineptitude even though nothing had actually occured and only 8 seconds had ticked off the clock. I was hanging out with Matt at the time and he told me that it's okay to be annoyed but if I'm going to act like a lunatic for the next three hours, I could catch up with him when the game was over. Matt's a long-suffering Bills fan and when one of those cursed souls tells you to pipe down, you know you have a problem. So I got the message and stewed quietly for the next 3 hours. To avoid stroke, I squeezed a soccer ball between my legs.. by games' end, I'd thigh-mastered myself a new muscle group.

Throughout the game, I kept looking for glimmers of hope. A tackle here, a catch there, some type of positive sign.. something on which I could pin my hopes. I saw absolutely nothing. The game started with Brian Westbrook annihilating our first string defense all by himself. Westbrook is a good player, don't get me wrong, but yet again, the Radiers failed at one thing they could control -- tackling. The one-armed, half-assed tackle was back and in full-force Sunday night. On the Art Shell ship, the craptastic tackle was supposed to be a thing of the past but it appears our defense is still in remedial training on that one.

Our offensive drive began with a sack and a false start. It was like Groundhog Day out there. Eventually, however, we settled down enough for Aaron Brooks to toss a wounded duck to Courtney Anderson in the end zone. I should have been elated but all I could see was the will-be interception returned for a touchwhen when Brooks tries to weasel the ball into double coverage during the regular season.

After the touchdown, we relied on the leg of Sebastian Rape-ikowski to see us through, eventually showing the world that our guys who won't make the team were better than the Eagles' guys who won't make the team. We won 16-10. It wasn't pretty and it didn't inspire hope for the future but Oakland hasn't tasted victory in any form for nine months... I guess the Art Shell Era has to (re)start somewhere.

Posted at August 8, 2006 2:59 PM

Comments (8): The Hall of Fame Game (Tame Version)

Anthony	August 8, 2006 4:21 PM
	I think you guys are gonna be lucky to pull out 6 games this year. I still can't figure out how or why they picked up Aaron Brooks and then didn't draft a QB. Who in their right mind thinks Brooks is an upgrade from Collins?

Anderson	August 8, 2006 5:31 PM
	looking at Davis during his speech for Madden, he's gotta be at death's door. he looked like they warmed him up and rolled him out there.

NFL Adam	August 8, 2006 6:33 PM
	Look at the bright side. You still get to root for Brady Quinn next year.

on campus	August 8, 2006 8:12 PM
	does that mean she gets to keep cheating on her boyfriend with him too like she has been the last 3 years? both those pretty bitches think theyre slick.

Hadrian Drake	August 8, 2006 10:59 PM
	This looks like trouble... Hey Flash, maybe you need a better comment moderator?

Zoogs	August 8, 2006 11:13 PM
	Geez Flash, I admire your misplaced hope but here is Oakland's problem - Aaron Brooks. It's going to be a looooong season luv. on campus: That's just wrong to be throwing claims like that around

Julius	August 9, 2006 1:27 AM
	Be a man and fess up to who you are, oncampus. And yeah baby girl, that preseason game is gonna be the highlight of the year for the Raiders :) ive got y'all down for 2 sure wins, the Rams and the Jets!

Patrick Houlihan	August 9, 2006 9:58 AM
	He can't reveal who he is Julius. Otherwise, he won't be able to keep stalking her and making shit up.

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