There's Your Karma, Ripe As Peaches

Pot & Kettle Files: Chelsea Accuses Gallas of Extreme Douchebaggery

Starting Friday, I was wrapped up in job duties that carried into the late hours of Saturday night and didn't fly back until early Sunday morning. After a brief nap, it was back to the work place.. gotta love the fall. 

As a result of these happenings, I neglected to report on Arsenal's state of affairs following the close of the transfer window last week. And to the 5 people around here who actually know what the transfer window is, I apologize :)

Pascal Cygan is joining Bobby Pires at Villareal. It'll be a great place for him; I wish him the best. As for the big moves -- Jose Reyes is out, Julio "The Beast" Baptista is in, and Cashley Cole is off to Chelsea in exchange for the disgruntled William Gallas and £5m. Overall, I'm pleased. Arsene has been wooing the Beast for over a year; the Brazilian midfielder's power in the air and wealth of goal scoring ability will be a welcome addition to the lineup.

Where the Spanish Mama's boy and Cuntley are concerned, however, nothing but "good riddance" and a few f-bombs come to mind.

A little more than a year ago, Reyes was outed as having wet dreams about the Galacticos after a Spanish disc jockey tricked him into believing he was speaking to the Real Madrid Sporting Director on the phone. Reyes gushed with praise for the club, going so far as to say the Arsenal clubhouse was full of bad people. This fake interview sparked a year of "will he/won't he" speculation, largely fueled on both sides by Reyes himself. It is believed that his mother's dislike of London fueled his desire to return to Spain. Pussy.

And then there's Cashley Cole, a worthless piece of shite no longer worthy of respect. After being groomed into one of the best left backs in the world under Arsene Wenger's watchful eye, he became the epitome of disloyalty by selling out to Stamford Bridge. This all began innocently enough when the Arsenal management refused to give him a £5,000/week raise to pay his agent. Chelsea vultured its way into the situation, sparking up a tapping-up row that landed the Blues and Cole in hot water. Like any pansy unable to take accountability for his foolish mistakes, he placed all the blame on Arsenal. So now he's gone... he has his raise, freedom to publish a tell-all book where Arsenal is the root of all evil, and high hopes that he and his C-list cunt of a wife will become the next Posh & Becks. He is a total disgrace. Arsenal never treated Ashley Cole with anything other than dignity and class and this is how we are repayed. If he's thrown off a bridge or nailed in the heart by a stingray tomorrow, I won't shed a tear.

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In related news, Stamford Bridge released a comical statement to fans "explaining" why they gave up one of the most popular Blues in a cash-plus trade. It seems that they had no choice. Though it is no secret that William Gallas sought a transfer for many months, if you listen to the Bank of Chelsea, he was a terrifying beast that held the club for ransom.

"He went on to threaten that if he was forced to play, or if he was disciplined and financially punished for his breach of the rules, that he could score an own goal or get himself sent off, or make deliberate mistakes."

Apparently, this reprehensible behavior is what caused them to move the French defender. And ya know, that would make total sense if this statement was released, oh, way back in May when this madness first began. But nope. It seems that a club that can buy and sell any player in the world, allowed its best defender (who didn't have the salary to match the honor) to punk them until the final minutes of the deadline. It wasn't their fault, Chelsea fans! Don't you see? The evil Gallas took over the Bank and made them sell to Arsenal!

Naturally, Gallas denies these claims, expressing shock and surprise:

"I never said that I would score own goals if I had to play for Chelsea again... I was firm about my wanting to leave, that is true, and I will explain in due time why I wanted to. But I never went that far. But if people want to hide behind false accusations in order to give a reason for why I left so they can calm down the club's supporters then they can."

Gallas has been a right prick during this process but no matter what he told Jose Mourinho - that he was going to score own goals, intentionally cock-up, or play poorly - is of no consequence, as there is no way he would have been allowed to do so. When a player makes threats of this nature, you cut that player or sit them until he or she can be shipped off to the highest bidder. You don't offer them a new four year deal, you don't beg them to join your American pre-season tour, and you don't try to negotiate. You work out a transfer before the cancer infects your clubhouse.

The truth is, these cunts are airing their dirty laundry in a weak attempt to save face. William Gallas was one of the most popular players at Stamford Bridge and if you can make him out to be a greedy wanker that was hawking himself to the highest bidder, it might make picking up of the biggest, money-grubbing scoundrel in England just a little more acceptable.

Posted at September 5, 2006 6:00 AM

Comments (6): Pot & Kettle Files: Chelsea Accuses Gallas of Extreme Douchebaggery

Mark Harold	September 5, 2006 10:55 AM
	I don't know anything about transfer windows or anything. I just wanted to say that I love the Chelsea graphic.

Britton Jagger	September 5, 2006 2:02 PM
	Only Chelsea would treat an exiting player who did more for their club in 5 years than most of its current players will do in a lifetime with such disrespect in an attempt to curry public favor. This letter is a shame.

van Cutsem

September 5, 2006 3:53 PM

I'm beginning to wonder if Gallas' behaviour was necessary to get the point across to Mourinho & Co that he no longer wished to be of service. He was a right cunt through some of this but no more of one than they were. If he requested a transfer after being denied compensation for his skill level (and value to the club) and they told him to sod off, I don't know what else he could be expected to do.

Silver	September 5, 2006 10:04 PM
	I'm assuming here transfer window is no different than the trade deadline in any other sport. Is there just one transfer window per year? How does it work?

Flash

September 6, 2006 12:38 AM

The window is the period in football when clubs can transfer players in and out of their staffs and it happens twice a year, in all associations FIFA-wide. The first window runs from July 1st to midnight on August 31st. It re-opens on midnight, December 31st and goes until midnight on January 31st. The majority of the first window is complete agony, as the biggest moves don't happen until the deadline day, usually, in the midnight hour. If a player is not moved before the deadline, the club has to wait until the window opens again.. Once the January period closes, no permanent signings are allowed until the season is over. Exceptions for these rules are rare and usually occur when a club needs a goalkeeper in the event of an injury crisis.

Anthony	September 7, 2006 1:31 AM
	how litigious are they in england? if this isn't true, he shouldn't hesitate to sue them.

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