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Finally, Kosher Porn!Like everyone out there, I've seen my fair share of porn but I wouldn't exactly call myself an aficionado. Clinton Portis explained the difference between black and white porn a few months ago and since he didn't open my eyes to anything new, I've yet to broaden my knowledge on the subject. That said, if you had told me there was an adult film out there featuring an all-Israeli cast speaking Hebrew, I would have thought you were mocking me. But as it turns out, Jewporn exists beyond my hidden collection of self-made videos! Fancy a guess at the title?
Something about that is so smooth and refreshing. But check out the DVD cover to your right... see anything wrong? Or, perhaps, right? Meh.. maybe not. Do you see the letter "k" tucked inside that backwards "c" in the middle of the box? That "c" is actually the Hebrew letter kof and when a k is tucked inside, it becomes the trademarked Kof-k certification for kosher food. For those playing along at home, it means producer Oren Cohen of Tight Fit productions just gave the world its first taste of kosher porn. Trouble is, Rabbi Yehuda Rosenbaum, whose company, KOF-K Kosher Certification, authenticates food for the Jewish market, wasn't down with the idea of tricking observant Jews into thinking they could enjoy Assraelis with their pastrami on rye. While I know the Kof-K symbol is reserved for food, why can't they make an exception? I mean, the making and enjoyment of porn is a pleasure of the flesh, right? And in a way, that's all eating is - partaking in the flesh of another being for sustenance and enjoyment. So really, porn should be kosher and we should be allowed to watch it! I simply can't understand why no one thought of this before Mr. Cohen. Since I just solved the "why porn can be kosher" riddle, the next issue would simply be finding a rabbi willing to supervise the action to make sure no filming occurs on Shabbat and all enjoyed pieces of flesh meet a certain standard of cleanliness. Rabbis aren't priests; no self-flagellation will be required once the process is complete! I don't think it'd be too difficult to find a rabbi that would sacrifice a week of his time for a great cause, do you? Someone has to get on this issue and make a change. To deprive the Jewish world kosher porn is like keeping vodka from the Russians. Okay.. maybe it's not that bad but I'm tellin ya, it's a serious trespass!  Posted at January 31, 2007 11:52 PM Permalink • Filed under: Jewtastic! , Sex , Shallow Observations |
Assraelis
Comments (7): Finally, Kosher Porn!
Silver
February 1, 2007 12:02 PM
They should let him keep the Kof-k just for the title alone. I might have to buy this :)
jpk
February 1, 2007 2:45 PM
trailer didnt look half bad!
Tree
February 1, 2007 3:56 PM
I like the name Alma Fauck, apparently being named Fauck is selecting your daughters career just like naming her Crystal or Brittani.
And how about that guy beating it up on the side of the road? WTF is that?
And how many people just lost bets saying the 1st jewish skeezer to show up doing a porno would be Madonna? I know I did.
hedge
February 1, 2007 6:10 PM
i wonder what kosher-porn music sounds like?
Tree
February 1, 2007 7:51 PM
Probably the only time a clarinet has been used to make porn tunes.
"Oh yes! Oh yes yes yesssshiva"
Flash
February 1, 2007 9:00 PM
the Almighty is planning to smite Madonna Old Testament style by strangling her with her own Kabballah bracelet and then raining down fire and brimstone. Fraudulent cunt. I hope she chokes.
Toxic
February 2, 2007 7:25 AM
It must take a great deal of effort to be the biggest fraud in the family when you're married to Guy Mockney, but with that and pretending to be female (Borat) she's managing quite well.