There's Your Karma, Ripe As Peaches

I Just Agreed with Al Sharpton

And do you know what that means?? I either need to kill myself or Paris Hilton must be whiped off the face of the bloody earth. Actually, advocating for another person's death smacks of evil, so I would also accept her being thrown into a Chinese prison as a viable alternative.

But back to Al Sharpton, who has bounced back from his post-Don Imus malaise (which included cleaning up hip hop in Detroit) to respond to another celebrity fuck up.

When the LA County sheriff was releasing that spoiled, arrogant cunt from jail yesterday due to her tenuous mental state, he may as well have shown the bat signal in the sky because it wasn't 4 minutes before Al Sharpton was back in the spotlight with the same old song and dance about racial favortism: 

"...this early release gives all of the appearances of economic and racial favoritism that is constantly cited by poor people and people of color. There are any number of cases of people who handle being incarcerated badly and even have health conditions that are not released.  This act smacks of the double standards that many of us raise..."

Only this time, he was right. And frankly, I don't know if I can go on in a world where Al Sharpton and I are not only in agreement but I'm also devoting personal thinking time to a wonky-eyed twat like Paris Hilton. It's far too much to bear.

One of the more laughable things about this disaster is the claim that Hilton was released from jail because of her fragile psyche. After 3 days of incarceration in a 12x8 foot cell, where she was forced to fashion a pillow out of one of her blankets, poor Paris grew depressed and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. How tragic. You know, I might buy that explanation if I could believe that Paris Hilton was actually smart enough to develop a little melancholy. You see, there is a difference between being depressed and being inconvenienced, and no one with such limited dignity and brain function could possibly grasp what being depressed is all about.

Posted at June 8, 2007 9:36 AM

Comments (8): I Just Agreed with Al Sharpton

Patrick	June 8, 2007 10:02 AM
	That was an awesome post! Here is my favorite line (I imagine we are both going to hell): "After they put her back in jail this afternoon, I hope she gets another case of the suicides."

Toxic	June 8, 2007 10:15 AM
	"I'm also devoting personal thinking time to a wonky-eyed twat like Paris Hilton" Far too much free time on your hands, must be. "I hope she gets another case of the suicides." You'd think they could let her keep some personal items when doing porridge. You know like belt, shoe laces, neck ties.

Goldie	June 8, 2007 10:33 AM
	I thought they'd wait until she had a half-hearted attempt. LA County is worthless. Aren't they the same assholes that let Mel Gibson walk away?

Katy	June 8, 2007 11:33 AM
	I'm so sick of this bitch

Anderson	June 8, 2007 2:24 PM
	this shit just made my day:

Brandt	June 8, 2007 5:44 PM
	case of the suicides? :) that's awesome.

Julius	June 8, 2007 7:46 PM
	Now she's gonna appeal. Somebody kill this bitch and make the world a better place.

Erik

June 10, 2007 1:39 AM

One of the gossip sites was quoting a source saying that her herpes had flared up in a particularly bad way, causing the sheriff to green light her early release. Her anus was mentioned specifically. For some reason, picturing Paris Hilton covered in herpes blisters, gritting her teeth, while sitting on a jail toilet made me laugh out loud despite an overwhelming urge to vomit. I'm considering therapy, as the mental image just won't...go...AWAY!

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