There's Your Karma, Ripe As Peaches

Colts Fan Offends My Sensibilities

So I'm leaving a pizza joint the other day when my friends and I happen upon this monstrosity parked next to my car. After my eyes stopped burning, I whipped out my cell phone for documentation:

I'd ask myself what type of society would find this acceptable but having lived in Indiana for almost 7 years, I simply know better. When I first arrived for college, I didn't know what to expect of this place. For me, the American Midwest may as well have been that area on the Lenox Globe denoted by the warning "here be dragons." But in the time that I've been here, I've come to realize that though it is not as bad as people make out, it is still the only area where driving a vehicle so hideously ugly that people get mad looking at it is not only normal but celebrated.

I can only imagine the kudos that the owner of this tragic heap of a mess has received. I showed this picture to my neighbor only for him to say, "That's fantastic! I'd like that. Just Bears!" Ugh. It only figures. This is the type of dude that thinks a drive to Indianapolis, Chicago or Detroit is  as exciting and revolutionary as a trip to the moon. Hoosiers, ya know?

Now, I'm sure some of you are saying, "That PT owner has every right to display his or her Colts pride! Who are you to judge?"

Look, I'm all for people supporting teams and displaying allegiances. Magnets, stickers, decals - it's all good. Let your affections be known. But if you're a person that thinks its reasonable to drive a vehicle that looks like a mini-van with Down Syndrome, just stop right there. That tells the world enough about you already. We don't need your ridiculous fanboy decorations. Your car is already an offensive, obnoxious vulgarity. Frankly, I'm surprised it didn't turn me to stone when I tried to take these pictures. Considering that, forcing further attention upon it is nothing short of a crime. Shame on you Colts Fan PT Cruiser owner. Shame.

Posted at October 26, 2007 1:26 PM

Comments (7): Colts Fan Offends My Sensibilities

Nixon	October 26, 2007 3:36 PM
	The only thing that could be possibly worse than the car is the guy that was likely driving it. It's too bad you didn't hang out to get a glimpse of him as well. No doubt he was a 400 pounder in a leather Colts jacket and hat combo and an Addai jersey.

Will V-C	October 26, 2007 6:45 PM
	That car is ghastly! I'm going to the American football match on Sunday, Flash! What do I need to know?

Hadrian	October 27, 2007 4:11 AM
	Only a Colts fan would drive something that fucking stupid and think it's hot.

Toxic	October 27, 2007 7:35 AM
	Got to have a mullet the owner and thinks buying a PT Cruiser will put him in a ZZ Top video.

Mark Harold	October 27, 2007 1:54 PM
	Wow. That is awful. The Midwest is clearly a very special place :)

flash	October 27, 2007 6:02 PM
	I don't think there's a lot you'll need to know going in other than this -- do not base your opinion on the NFL on this match. It gets 400 times better than what you're about to see. The Miami Dolphins are worse than terrible. They are League 1 worthy. Have fun! :)

Craig	October 27, 2007 11:05 PM
	Wait, so are you upset because it was ugly and had Colts stuff all over it or because it was ugly and a PT Cruiser? You know, there is a full sized van that drives around up here that is painted blue with "maize" stripes, much like a U of M helmet, and it has a Michigan cover for the spare tire on the back, too. It's quite a site to see.

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