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Hell Should Be Freezing Over... Shouldn't It? So after a disastrous summer where the integrity of every sport on the planet was thrown into question, we've transitioned into a fall where the results of contests and actions of athletes simply defy logic. It's complete madness. Let's evaluate where we stand -- Detroit Lions: 3-1 Oakland Raiders: 2-2 Cleveland Browns: 2-2 Arizona Cardinals: 2-2 Colorado Rockies: Playoffs Philadelphia Phillies: Playoffs Alex Rodriguez: Mentally capable of handling the boos Matt Leinart: Unhappy Kobe Bryant: Vow of silence The only things that really makes sense in the world right now are the New Orleans Saints sitting at 1-3, Norv Turnover's debilitating "influence" on yet another football team and Al Davis gift-wrapping another Super Bowl for a team not called the Oakland Raiders. And since the forecast continues to call for balmy temperatures on this, the first week of October, I have to believe that these three signs of normalcy are the only things preventing Hell from freezing over. It's quite unsettling really, the Raiders in particular. Dare I believe? Dare I have faith that positive things are afoot under Coach Lunch Monday and his crew in the Land of Misfit Toys? Sure, we lost to Detroit and Denver and the Hand of God showed up to block a kick in the final seconds against Cleveland but we're still 2-2. We're still leading the league in rushing, 10th in total offense and actually have offensive touchdowns. And is if that's not enough, we're not getting embarrassed. I'm not saying those four things make us world beaters or eventual division champs, so please don't misconstrue my temporary departure from doom and gloom to mean that I believe we're going 14-2. I just see a glimmer of hope out there in the Bay and I don't know how to handle it. I keep bracing myself for disaster but after Sunday in Miami, I'm wondering if I should. Being both English and someone's little sister has taught me one thing: once you build your little sand castle and you carve your first window into it, some horrible beast/older sister/bully will come along, step on it and kick the remaining sands into the ocean. But in this situation, maybe it's not so wrong if I feel a little bit of excitement. So I tell you what I'm gonna do... I'm going to put on my Tim Brown jersey (I've still not found an adequate replacement for my burned Jerry Porter) and go out and about in it as if you're the one with the problem. And if anyone dares say a word to me, I'm gonna crack them in the jaw. How's that for enthusiasm?  Posted at October 3, 2007 10:53 AM Permalink • Filed under: General Sports , NFL , Oakland Raiders |
Comments (11): Hell Should Be Freezing Over... Shouldn't It?
Saywer
October 3, 2007 11:45 AM
Matt Leinart: unhappy.
Nice touch :)
Patrick
October 3, 2007 12:59 PM
Good to see that one of us is back to posting :-)
Arrington
October 3, 2007 4:50 PM
As long as the Lions have God on Kitnas side, they might roll to the playoffs. He might be helping them just to make Hell freeze over.
Nicholson
October 3, 2007 9:17 PM
Has a line been established on how quickly they give Norville the boot?
Mark Harold
October 3, 2007 10:40 PM
WIth Turnover at the helm, you might be 3-2 coming out of week 6! Isn't there a point when a man is so embarrassed about the damage he's done around the NFL that he just retires? It's crazy!
John B.
October 5, 2007 7:45 PM
Add this to your list of normalcies:
A-Rod disappears in the playoffs.
Erik
October 6, 2007 11:41 PM
"How's that for enthusiasm?"
Hell hath no fury like a woman...enthused? Your masochistic association with professional sports teams is surpassed in intensity only by your totally dysfunctional relationship with optimism. I can almost hear Jimi's "Castles Made of Sand" in the murmur of my computer fans, for fuck's sake. Piss on it all and go surfing, before it's too late!! LOL
Eric
October 8, 2007 12:06 PM
I always had you pegged for a Lester Hayes jersey-wearer...
Although, I guess Brown is a pretty easy choice too.
flash
October 10, 2007 11:28 AM
"Your masochistic association with professional sports teams is surpassed in intensity only by your totally dysfunctional relationship with optimism."
Wow, Erik :)
I have to say that you should have seen this coming. I haven't seen a wave in 2 months :( My soul is dying.
flash
October 10, 2007 11:29 AM
Actually (other) Eric, I went from the Jack Tatum onesie to Tim Brown. I tried to make a transition to Jerry Porter but burned his jersey in a fit of rage after he betrayed the Silver and Black with absolutely reprehensible behavior.
BUT I recently purchased a Jack Tatum throwback, so Brown will officially be out of commission soon enough.
Erik
October 13, 2007 1:26 AM
"'Your masochistic association with professional sports teams is surpassed in intensity only by your totally dysfunctional relationship with optimism.'
Wow, Erik :)
I have to say that you should have seen this coming. I haven't seen a wave in 2 months :( My soul is dying."
Fucking hell, things are more dire than I suspected! lol My advice, buy a motorcycle, ride it to the coast, buy a surfboard, catch some waves, have a couple of beers, and get back on the path to ascension. :)