There's Your Karma, Ripe As Peaches

The Petty Files: Wayne Gretzky Disappoints

*Disclaimer: Wayne Gretzky is awesome*
*Disclaimer 2: I'm overreacting* 

So yesterday I received an email from a Phoenix Coyotes multimedia person that wanted to promote some new interactive fan fun at the team's website. The first item was Coyote's Hockey HQ, a site that lets you create a game face, play games and make your friends look ridiculous. Meh. Not so into it. But the other nugget was "Coyotes Trax—Where we have players iTunes playlists so fans can find a common ground."

The only thing I know about the Phoenix Coyotes is Wayne Gretzky and goalkeeping great, Grant Fuhr, and most people would say that's more than enough. In hopes that I'd be able to see what The Great One was rocking out to, I eagerly followed the link... to a land of great disappointment. 

I really don't know what I was expecting when I clicked on Wayne Gretzky's tune resource. Since he came of age in the late 70s and early 80s, I assumed his list would be filled with a healthy Canadian mixture of classic rock, 80s new wave and some new but internationally chill band like Coldplay. But since he's The Great One, it'd be the cool classic rock, the cool new wave and the cool new but chill. But alas.

Mixed among obvious and perfectly reasonable favorites like Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Golden Earring, The Kings, Red Rider and Triumph, were the ultimate of horrors: Nickelback... Sarah McLachlan... (brace yourself) Nelly Furtado.

I'm not even going to start on Nickelback and I'm going to let Sarah McLachlan go because "Angel" is hauntingly beautiful. But Nelly Furtado? Really? The thing is, it's not even "Promiscuous" Nelly Furtado or the Nelly Furtado that got down with Missy Elliot in "Get Ur Freak On." At least listening to that version makes sense. Pop music becomes far more tolerable to men when they want to put their dick in the singer. But "I'm Like a Bird" Nelly Furtado? She only inspires me to get a Peter King style latte at Starbucks with money that I've pulled out of my bedazzled purse. I can't imagine how that version has any effect on men.

I know I'm overreacting here, but I don't know, I just didn't see this coming. Sarah McLachlan and Nelly Furtado are okay for women because, you know, we have vaginas. But The Great One? While I never expected Slayer or anything, I certainly didn't anticipate seeing the 2001 lineup from Lilith Fair.

Posted at October 31, 2007 11:44 AM

Comments (6): The Petty Files: Wayne Gretzky Disappoints

Craig

October 31, 2007 4:54 PM

At least listening to that version makes sense. Pop music becomes far more tolerable to men when they want to put their dick in the singer. While I'm not going to argue that this isn't true, I am going to say that it isn't any worse than the female counterpoint to that phenomenon. Present company excluded, obviously, there are plenty of women who hear John Mayer (or Michael Buble or some other tool, they'd never think twice about normally) singing and suddenly get all damp, and it's not because they're sweating. Ok, but your point is still valid, there's no reason for having Nelly Furtado on that list. Granted, I think the only acceptable Nelly Furtado to have on a playlist is when she guests on Jurassic 5's "Thine Line," but that's just me.

puck	October 31, 2007 7:29 PM
	gotta say that's pretty weak on gretzky's part but the site idea is pretty cool. but they should have actual players on there aside from doan. they've got the dance team and a radio announcer - wtf?

rob	November 1, 2007 2:29 AM
	what is it with people and nickelback??? they've gotta be the biggest no-talent band of the last ten years.

Toxic	November 1, 2007 6:56 AM
	It's the comatose effect of the Coyotes, I know that every time I switched on KDKB and the were playing it would send me straight to sleep. "Michael Buble or some other tool" - The bint of a bloke I know was going on about how great he was singing "Feeling Good", she'd never even heard of Nina Simone, I could have killed her on the spot if it wasn't for my distaste for manual labour.

flash	November 1, 2007 7:24 AM
	Nina is absolute magic and her songs should never be touched. You should have done your due diligence and killed that wench.

Knutsen	November 1, 2007 9:54 AM
	Something about this sounds about right. Gretzky always seemed like a mild-mannered, almost timid guy off the ice. I would have thought his entire playlist would be made up of soft feely stuff like McLachlan, Joni Mitchell, Coldplay, etc. Five for Fighting makes the most sense of anything on his list.

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