There's Your Karma, Ripe As Peaches

Your Move, Barwick

In about an hour, Brian Barwick and the rest of those daft muppets at the FA will conduct an emergency meeting on the status of Steve McClaren's employment. It's possible that they'll keep McClaren on but surely, even they aren't that stupid. After Israel threw England a courageous lifeline on Saturday, the Three Lions opted for suicide, displaying a horrifying combination of prehistoric tactical maneuvers and shoddy, school boy football that should mark the end of the McClown Error in England.

As the FA embarks on this next coaching search, no cock ups can occur or the whole of the British Isles will burn. Oh, you think I'm being melodramatic? I assure you, chaos and disorder will reign from coast to coast. With no country in our clinically depressed archipelago being represented at Euros next summer, it's not as if there will be much else to do but loot, riot and burn Soho Square to the ground.

For anyone that dares think Steve McClown is getting an unfair shake, lets recap the highlights in his disastrous, 12-game reign of disgusting mediocrity:

 England 0 - 0 Macedonia

Whether managing a squad of amazing talents or overrated punks, a manager can lead a group to relative success if he can motivate, instill discipline and put his players in a position to win. McClown could offer none of the above.

• As anyone knows, nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. With an electric home field advantage and national pride on the line, the lads walked out like a rectal exam awaited. "We only need a point after all... and we deserve it."
  
• Though extra discipline can go a long way in making up for lack of talent, the lack of it can siphon away whatever talent exists. In international football, it's usually the most disciplined players and teams that rise to the top. England's only discipline comes in the form of posturing for the next OK spread.
  
• Our players are arrogant, unmotivated and undisciplined and still only lost by 1. Too bad McClaren was more worried about staying dry than attempting to out-maneuver Slaven Bilic. His biggest effort was inserting Beckham - his only lifeline - and switching us from a 4-5-1 to a 4-4-2. That's what I call halftime adjustments.
  

As much as this result needed to happen to get McClaren shuttled off to the hills, the match was still excruciatingly painful to watch. Shame and horror do not even begin to describe how it felt to see our boys proved inferior in every level of the game. We're only lucky that the result wasn't worse.

But what pisses me off more than the way we lost is that McClaren begged to be judged on the whole of his campaign and then stubbornly refused to resign once it was all said and done. It's honestly too bad that there must be an emergency board meeting this morning. McClown should have been sacked AT Wembley - right on that jacked up pitch. And I don't mean fired. I'm talking literally sacked - black bagged Peter Creedy style and carried away into the rainy night. 

So long, Stevie Ginger, you no-skilled git. Good luck with your prehistoric tactics in Iraq or Kansas City or whatever sorry squad settles on you as their shaman of mediocrity.

Posted at November 22, 2007 1:30 AM

Comments (8): Your Move, Barwick

Toxic	November 22, 2007 8:56 AM
	"excruciatingly painful to watch" Was the most relaxed I've ever watched a meaningful England. "With no country in our clinically depressed archipelago being represented at Euros next summer" Ah the Home nations Championship will be back next year, oh the memories of taking a wrong turn and getting caught in the running battle after we beat the Jocks at Hampden in '89.

zoogs	November 22, 2007 10:22 AM
	No way was McClown going to quit, the greedy tosser wasn't going to give up that 2 million pound severance package. The final result was well deserved. Despite being handed qualification by Israel and only needing a point they still wanted Croatia to hand to them. Croatia out-classed, out-coached and out-played England on their own pitch.

flash	November 22, 2007 12:26 PM
	"Was the most relaxed I've ever watched a meaningful England." I don't know how you managed it. I was so embarrassed for the players that it was hard to watch. We deserved this, of course, but still. It was like watching a drunk hit rock bottom. I kept hopping behind my sofa and throwing blankets over my head to hide from it.

Cullen	November 23, 2007 12:48 AM
	While the FA was sacking MacClown, they should have done the same to themselves. Not a man on that board deserves to keep his job after this fiasco. They should swing with MacClown.

Toxic	November 23, 2007 6:44 AM
	"I was so embarrassed for the players that it was hard to watch." Tend to find it hard to be embarrassed for individuals on over £100,000 a week who ponce about and give nothing but think they deserve the shirt.

zoogs	November 23, 2007 10:18 AM
	@Toxic Well said mate.

Gavin

November 24, 2007 7:15 PM

Disagree on that Toxic and Zoogs. It was more than the men wearing the shirt. They embarrassed England more than they embarrassed themselves. And I don't understand how it can ever feel good to watch our nation be embarrassed and become the joke of world football. Outside of our borders, no one will say "Lampard is awful." They will say "England is awful" and won't know anything of the details. That made it sickening to watch.

zoogs

November 25, 2007 2:26 PM

@Gavin While I agree with you on the notion that it wasn't fun watching our side get embarrassed on the pitch I would also say it was a rude awakening that the England fan, pundits and, most importantly, players needed. If the 2-2 scoreline had held up we'd have the same old tired proclamation that Euro 2008 was England's year and they're winning it all despite the fact the England did not play well throughout qualification. Listen, England were awful plain and simple and McClaren set us back a few years with his caveman tactics and atrocious man management...seriously who wins by just literally hoofing the ball with no midfield interplay these days (You might think Italy but at least they actually had a productive midfield). Aaaargh....Please FA for once do something right and hire Klingsmann!

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