I leave XM Radio’s MLB Home Plate on in my office most of the day and when I came back in yesterday afternoon, Rob Dibble was busy fellating himself over being so fearsome on the mound from about 1990 – 1992. This is a pretty run of the mill occurrence on The Show, a shitefest hosted by Dibble and Kevin Kennedy – a couple of assclown braintrusts with no opinions that make any sense. When they aren’t congratulating each other on careers well done or getting unnecessarily furious about this topic or that, they attempt to answer questions from hapless callers.
Yesterday featured a call from a panicked Tigers fan that was concerned over the (then) 0 – 7 squad’s chances of making the post-season. No really – I’m serious. And I don’t mean that he was worried. He was in an absolute fright. How could that hack Jim Leyland engineer such a catastrophe? How can the 2nd highest payroll in the league not make the post-season? So much for hope.
And he’s right. Looks like it’s time for that paper bag, Tigers Fan.
Though no team has ever gotten to the post-season after losing its first 7 games, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that there are 154 games left to play and these are the Detroit Tigers, not the Texas Rangers. [I can't believe I just said that.] Hell, you shouldn’t even have to be a Rob Dibble.
But rather than talk about a week’s worth of games full of flukes, aberrations and mishaps or the fact that the Tigers are a good ball club with good hitters making mental errors and pressing a bit too much, the Nasty Boy took up the torch and pitchfork. After excoriating the organization for being such a colossal waste of talent, he and Kennedy then tried to calculate the number of games Detroit would need to beat the odds, eventually deciding that going .500 in April MIGHT leave Detroit with a chance but even then – who knows because other teams are good too – like the Royals and the Cubs!
Seriously? Is this where my subscription money is going? To keep this mindless dickbag employed? They can’t find anybody better than this? The reality is that at 1-7, the Tigers are 3 games behind the Indians – their true competition come September. And with their lineup, this team should be able to sleepwalk through April and still be able to hit their way into the wild card. Christ, the Yankees don’t even get out of the rocking chairs to participate in the league schedule until it gets warm in mid-June.
Case in point, here’s where we are now:
And honestly, I can deal with all of that for now. Even being outscored 19 – 7 in two losses to Tampa Bay, which is pathetic, can be taken in stride… I think. But something that cannot be tolerated – and something even the Tigers wouldn’t allow – is scoring just 2 runs in 2 games against the Kansas City Royals.
We’re missing Jeter and Posada, sure, but that’s no excuse for getting pwned by the dregs. Zach Greinke shut us down and shut us out, allowing 6 weak sauce hits over 8 innings.
Have we no pride? Is there no line that is drawn where the team agrees to not be bent over and rogered by every perennial bottom dweller in the league? Now, I know that the Royals are all new and improved but they’re still the Royals and managing 2 runs with Rodriguez, Matsui, Abreu, Damon and Cano in the lineup is nothing short of foul. That said, at least we’re not the Tigers. If you haven’t heard – they’re not gonna make the playoffs. Chumps.