Dec 23, 2008
Flash

Hey, Good Lookin’ – That Means You, Teixeira!

I posted this image by mistake but since it’s been up for a couple days, I’ll add a little text — not really for your amusement but because I hate the way the post formatted without it.

For Americans who don’t know the identify of this modern day Venus, meet Camilla Parker-Bowles. She not only serves as the Duchess of Cornwall but also concrete proof that money, fame and blue-blood status have no bearing on one’s taste in women. 

In other news of pure awesomeness, the New York Yankees just signed Mark Teixeira to an 8-year, $170+ million deal.

Sabathia, Burnett (meh), Tex. Who are these mysterious chaps in the front office and what have they done with Brian Cashman?! It’s as if someone wants the Yankees to win again!

Now, I’ll be honest – I remain thorougly unhappy that we solve problems by dumping billions of dollars into the laps of high-flying free agents. $400+M are tied up in our 3 recent acquisitions but at least Sabathia and Teixieira don’t require Metamucil and Flomax prescriptions. At least they aren’t 8 years past their primes. If we’re going to spend money like a drunken hillbilly in a whorehouse, the least we can do is spend it on the best tarts in the building. Two of our recent moves reflect such thinking.

You know, when Madonna’s roided up vagina prison trapped Alex Rodriguez a few months ago, I knew the Yankees could be in serious trouble for years to come. With the Yankees’ hitting troubles and complete lack of pitching, the last thing we needed was that evil succubus turning A-Rod into the Guy Ritchie of baseball.

But with Teixeira in the lineup, we might just be okay. All we need now is another starter or bullpen arm and a relationship shakeup and the New York Yankees are back in business… the business of winning championships (that was cheesy and I am ashamed. My apologies).

Huzzah!

6 Comments

  • Two questions:
    1) Who is this person?
    2) Is the horse terrified or turned on?

  • that’s Camilla Parker Bowles, the minger that Prince Charles cheated on Princess Di with and eventually married.

  • I’m just happy this takes the ManRam speculation off the table. I was scared shitless.

  • Yikes! I’m familiar with Ms. Bowles’ name and deeds, but did not recognize that face! LOL I guess there’s no accounting for taste. Maybe she has a truly amazing personality or magic between her legs…I just sent a chill down my own spine with that mental image.

  • “modern day Venus, meet Camilla Parker-Bowles.”
    And the horse on the left had just won the 3:15 at Kempton.

  • Kill yourself Yankees fans :-)
    You’re hoarding all the toys in the sandbox, and not leaving any for us! Unlike NYY, my Braves have decided that we’re just not going to sign ANYONE. Brilliant strategy, Frank Wren. Brilliant if your strategy is to compete for the second to last spot in the division. Sigh.

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I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.

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