Nov 9, 2009

The Foolish Hubris Files: Eric Mangini & Me

As I’m sure you’ve ascertained, I was appropriately pwned for betting on Radiohead in the Breeders’ Cup Juvenile on Saturday. I know it was dumb but I couldn’t fight the compulsion. Sadness abounds. In any case, Radiohead never contended for the win and finished a middling 7th in the 13 horse field. On the bright side, this not so mighty emo steed surely hasn’t the skills to qualify for a Triple Crown race, so I don’t have to worry about foolishly screwing myself out of money in a few month’s time.

In other news, Eric Mangini, head "coach" of the Cleveland Browns took stupidity and hubris to a new level today when he refused to announce whether Derek Anderson or Brady Quinn will be the one whose life comes to a sad, unfulfilled end at the hands of Ray Lewis next Monday night. According to reports, Mangini knows who he’s going to choose but plans to make his QBs and, laughably, the Baltimore Ravens defense, sweat it out a little.

Ray Lewis should slap this bitch around just for having the nerve.

Mangini to start Quinn now that it's cheaperWhen you’re the conductor of the biggest on-field trainwreck in the NFL, you have no right to be secretive or clever or coy. In fact, as a dead man walking, you have no rights. The only things on your mind should be:

  • Finding ways to improve the team
  • Making the final three months as painless as possible
  • Showing NFL owners that you’re a competent head coach in a bad situation
  • Mangini has struck out looking on all of the the above, but even worse is that he’s arrogant (or delusional?) enough to think the Ravens will buy into his bullshit. What, like they’ll develop two game plans? The Browns could start G-d and still lose by 30. Even G-d would tell ya that. What He’d also tell you and what the Ravens already know is that Brady Quinn will be under center on Monday night. Not because this QB selection process was like choosing between agony and despair and despair tasted a little better, but because throwing Quinn back in the mix at week 9 allows the Browns to boost his trade value without triggering $10.5M in performance incentives in his contract.

    If I can figure that out, so can the rest of the league, Eric. It’s not rocket science. I just wish I could go back in time and un-do that Radiohead bet, so I could throw 5 grand down on the Frowns to be torn limb from limb, set aflame in a funeral pyre and then sent out to sea.

    I would have been the winner on that one.


    • Now announcing the next coach of the Oakland Raiders……… ERIC MANGENIUS!

    • I don’t think the Browns QBs deserve starting spots in the NFL but Mangini’s choices ruined the chances that either one of them could possibly succeed in Cleveland. He’s done those guys no favor and has provided virtually zero support.

    • An NFL coach has two jobs: win games and remain employed. Unfortunately, neither of the two have anything to do with each other.
      If you’re Eric, you know you’re not winning, so you have to find ways to remain employed. In this case, he’s trying to pretend that his chess-like control over his roster and opposing defenses’ minds is relevant despite his consistent ineptitude. As long as he can trick people into thinking he’s at least got a strategy, he’s good.

    • That’s it tho Maine. Mangini doesn’t know he’s not winning. He thinks this ish is gonna work and he’s gonna have the Ravens all crossed up. He’s so cocky and nuts that he doesn’t even realize his job is in some serious danger.

    • One fun note…the Saints defense has scored more than the Browns offense this year.

    • What’s your point Patrick? Every defense in the league has scored more points than the Browns.

    • “Ray Lewis should slap this bitch around just for having the nerve.”
      I love this blog :)

    • Here’s the thing, as Cleveland fan who has forsaken his mental health to watch the Browns I can attest that both Quinn and Anderson suck, no, both are atrocious and same goes for the team as a whole. So Mangini pretending to play mind f**k with the media as well as opponents is not only comical but makes the Browns organization and city look foolish. Mind you, Cleveland doesn’t need anything else to be laughed at (remember the tourism youtube video?)
      I never thought the Browns could decline any further than they already have but mangina has taken it to a whole new level


    I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.


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