Brett Favre and the New York Jets are being sued for sexual harassment by Christina Scavo and Shannon O’Toole, two late-to-the-game opportunists former massage therapists looking for 15 minutes of fame and a settlement cheque. Shocking, I know. I’ll give you a second to pick yourself up from the floor.
The suit alleges that prior to sending pictures of his wounded turtle cock to Jenn Sterger in 2008, Favre tried to seduce the aforementioned masseuses via text message. It also maintains that Favre stared at Scavo “like a hanging slab of meat”, treated Scavo’s husband with disdain when the poor bastard tried to defend his lady’s honour, used a Jets employee to do his bidding on other occasions, and got the duo fired after they resisted his impotent advances. Favre also attempted to lure in an unnamed third therapist with this gem:
No, Brett. All you have is bad game. “Bad intentions.” Favre’s amateur approach is a disgrace to professional athletes everywhere. These women rejected him and didn’t have to see his thumb drive penis before making the call. They received his messages, weighed their options, and simply said no. Do you know why? No, it’s not because they have self-respect and dignity or aren’t fazed by fame. (They’re massage therapists who service players at home – let’s be real.) It’s because they’re from the east coast and have no interest in protecting him.
Unlike the corn pone cheesehead pussy Favre is used to, it takes a little more than the promise of a Budweiser and a bowl of pretzels to get these women to come to a hotel, drop their knickers, and keep quiet about it. It’s no wonder the dude left New York so fast. He can’t have gotten laid more than a handful of times in the 6 months he was in town.
I don’t know if Brett Favre has designs on getting laid again, but if he does, I suggest he redirect his efforts towards his eternally patient wife or move back to Wisconsin. It’s the only way anyone will be remotely impressed with what he has to offer. “ Kinda of lonely tonight. I guess I have bad intentions.” Who says that? It sounds like some dialogue straight out of a soft core porn on Cinemax.