Jan 17, 2011
Flash

Can Bart Scott Join The Arsenal Next Month?

In the 20-some years that I’ve been an aware fan of The Arsenal (aware meaning I wasn’t in nappies and drooling on myself), we have never been as mentally weak as we are today. Don’t get me wrong – we can fire up with the best of them, but the thing that separates from the likes of Chelsea and Manchester United is that we only do it when we need a crucial result or suffer a slight in the press. They do it as a matter of course.

This is most recently evidenced in the weeks since our cracking victory over Chelsea on Boxing Day. To stay in the title race, the Gunners had to play 90 minutes of aggressive, disciplined football, and that is exactly what we did. But in typical Arsenal fashion, we went directly into the shitter almost immediately after the whistles blew.

A lovely win over Birmingham excepted, it was one inexcusable draw after another until we lost to Ipswich Town (currently 20th in the Championship) in the first leg of the Carling Cup semi final. Our lacklustre, disinterested performance brought on a swath of criticism in the press, and Arsenal responded once again — this time with a 3-0 dismantling of West Ham United.

If the pattern is at all reliable, we’re due for a letdown against Wigan this Saturday and the vicious cycle will continue until season’s end. Of course, we wouldn’t be in this mess if Wenger didn’t sell away all veteran experience and leadership for youngsters who haven’t the bottle to do more than play beautiful football and model cute shirts on the website.

One way he could fix it is to find players in the Tony Adams or Patrick Vieira mould. But since we all know that won’t happen, I suggest he offer a contract to linebacker Bart Scott of the New York Jets. No, Bart Scott doesn’t know anything about footy, but what he lacks in knowledge he makes up for in white hot, “do it or I’ll fucking kill you” intensity and that’s exactly what Arsenal needs.

Can you imagine Cesc Fabregas responding like this? Can you imagine him even thinking these things? Neither can I. He’s too busy using his captaincy to act like a whinging bitch in the press, and that’s why we’re on year six without any fucking trophies.

9 Comments

  • WOW. If Arsenal had that bloke, you’d never fall off pace again. He’d chew up Fabregas and spit him out.

  • I heard rumour that Arsene is trying to get Vieira on the coaching staff this summer. That could be a great boost for the club.

    • Vieira will be a boon but he can’t be out there on the pitch with them. We have to get players in his mould or else we need to be happy with a future as the constant bridesmaid.

  • We’ve been on the decline mentally since the Invincibles. Still I never imagined we’d have players unable to maintain a level of performance for a little over two weeks, let alone over the course of the season. Where we’re really hurting for the future is that fixing it requires even more than players and Vieira on staff. We have to see a fundamental change in Arsene’s management philosophy and I think that’s unlikely.

  • I can’t get enough of this. Sal Paolantonio is 25 more seconds from wetting himself and crying out for mama.

  • it could always be worse. we could be tottenham.

  • 3 weeks ago, Cutler threw 3 TDs and Forte had 113 yards and a TD. Then we had the Bills and a Colts team with no running game. Nobody saw that game against the Pats coming. Not even the most optimistic Jets fan.

  • It’s not too hard to believe in the Jets D most of the time. It’s REALLY FUCKING HARD to believe in Mark Sanchez against any team out there, and that’s really why everybody thought the Pats would roll. Troy Polamalu is going to eat Sanchez alive.

  • you know this old cat only had 2 tackles on the night, right? he’s comin with all this bluster and no production.

Disclaimer

I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.

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