Jan 14, 2011

Consensual Sex Safety Certificate

You know that law in certain countries where boys are either conscripted or required to register for selective service on their 18th birthday? Well, when that happens, the government should issue updated copies of this 1940s-era consensual sex safety certificate, condoms, and a ballpoint pen, with the requirement that the items be on their persons at all time. Don’t play by the rules? Fine. It’s straight to the front lines for you.

If you’re wondering what the Mann Act is, it’s the USA’s White-Slave Traffic Act of 1910. Named after Congressman James Robert Mann, it prohibited white slavery and the interstate transport of females for “immoral purposes”. Its primary stated intent was to address prostitution, immorality, and human trafficking. The ambiguous immorality language required Congress to amend the law to apply only to transport for the purpose of prostitution or illegal sexual acts. Given how repressed American sex laws are for consenting adults, “illegal sexual acts” meant anything that wasn’t missionary position between husband and wife.

Obviously, this law was a tricky bag of poo. We know this because people who were made of awesome such as Chuck Berry, Charlie Chaplin, and Jack Johnson (the boxer, not that twat singer) were convicted of it. Charles Manson went down for it as well, but he isn’t made of awesome, so let’s ignore that piece of unsexy trivia.

HT: Feetlips


  • Sorry black, Asian, and Mexican girls but you’re still fair game.

  • So if the undersigned doesn’t get the satisfaction she expects, does that void the promise not to prosecute under the Mann Act?

    • think it’s a 50/50 chance a woman would do that whether there was a contract or not

  • HAHA I need a whole book of these.


I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.


Enter your email address:




British Blogs

FlashWarner's Profile Page

Switch to our mobile site