Jan 6, 2011
Flash

Hapless Arsenal 0 – Citeh Wall 0

Arsenal give me the effing sads. It’s 6 January and the Premier League title is officially Manchester United’s to lose because we couldn’t score a single goal on Manchester City even though those scrotes were operating like a McLaren F1 in third gear.

It’s not for lack of trying, though. Arsenal played a fantastic game from wire to wire. For once, we looked like a title contender, cutting them open early and firing shots at the goal at will. Trouble was, when balls weren’t abusing the woodwork, they were sailing over it, around it, or right into Joe Hart’s vortex. It was an unlucky outing, and while I hate the result, I’m proud of the performance.

However, I couldn’t say the same were I a Citeh fan. That squad is £350M of yawns and shame. For that money, you’d think these twats would, you know, play football instead of looking like they were moving in a field of molasses. However, it may not be their fault, but that of the forward-thinking, revolutionary tactician Roberto Mancini, who employed a courageous 9-1-0 formation with Carlos Tevez slotted in neatly just in front of the back nine.

Genius strategy, really. Why actively try to win the Prem when you can slowly but surely eat away at the top of the table one point at a time?

“Chelsea came here and lost. We left with a point,” former Gunner Kole Toure said. “It is very important to have a strong defence if you are challenging for major honours. Strikers can win you games, but defenders win you titles.”

Well zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Kolo! Chelsea lost! What a fantastic thing to hang your hat on. It just illustrates the one thing that separates Citeh from Chelsea — they fucking care, which is something I never thought I’d say. Chelsea came into the Emirates, fought, and lost like men (and lost badly :) ). You, on the other hand, lead a £350M payroll into the Emirates, erected Hadrian’s Wall around the goal, and grew roots. No one even tried to nick a goal yet you want to talk about major honours? Are you kidding me? What you “achieved” at Emirates last night wasn’t success. It was just a shameful case of not losing. You may have escaped with a point but you left your dignity behind.

5 Comments

  • You’re back!! I watched a bit of the match and fell asleep whilst doing so. What an unlucky result. But Man Shitty’s lineup is a massive waste of quid. There’s no point to all of this is that’s to be their strategy against the big clubs.

  • Absolute bullshit. Going for a point makes sense if you’re West Ham. Man City is 2nd and the most expensive club in the league. What Toure’s forgetting is that you can try to score even though you lock down the defense. The whole matched was fucked.

  • Citeh was vile. Regardless of the result, not playing like a pussy is a matter of pride. Obviously they haven’t any.

  • Just dropping in to say “hooray, my name made a blog post!”

  • We all rubbish Citeh for the performance but what matters most here is United would’ve put those goals away. They would’ve found a way to win. I don’t think the Gunners have the bottle.

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I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.

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