Jan 7, 2011
Flash

Hot Sex: There’s an App for That

The man and I love a good sex toy in the bedroom because their use is only limited by comfort level and imagination. However, vibrators are the lone toys in the drawer that eventually wear out their welcome  (no pun intended). With a defined number of pre-programmed patterns, you start knowing what to expect from them and where’s the fun in that?

Enter OhMiBod, a nifty pleasure product company out of New Hampshire, USA that produces vibrators designed to pulsate to the beat and rhythm of music. You can hook them up to your iPod, iPad, laptop, stereo, or anything else that plays tunes and quite literally feel music. I blogged about their first product a few years back when I couldn’t believe such a thing existed. Eventually, I got one of my own. It’s like an audiophile’s nirvana (Massive Attack’s Inertia Creeps: I honour you in so many other ways now).

Well, four years have passed and these sex hounds have undergone a serious evolution. Their most recent innovation is Body Heat – the first app for iPhone (and any other mobile device) that remotely controls vibrators.

“Body Heat is responsive to touch and movement, leaving control quite literally at the customer’s fingertips,” said Suki Dunham, founder of OhMiBod. “Gone are the days of cycling through speed, intensity, and pattern variations. With Body Heat, users can change their experiences on the fly and in real time.”

Infinite patterns, limitless intensities, and totally customisable. Suki’s speaking my language.

Now, perhaps you’re thinking, “Who needs to get off so much that they need an iPhone app?” To that I say — drop the self-righteous charade and get your mind right. Everyone wants to visit pleasure town, and whether they admit it or not, most people like getting there (with or without a partner) in new, exciting, and hopefully legal ways. Not liking orgasms is akin to hating puppies and unicorns, and throwing shade at those who are enthusiastic about them simply makes you evil, not to mention bad in bed.

Since only Androids and Blackberrys live at my house, we’ll have to make do with the technology we already have, but I still offer a huzzah to Apple for allowing a legit Ticket to Orgasms app in their store. They’re not as rigid and evil as I thought! Then again, if you’re a more religiously conservative thinker, apps like these may join all of the random bird, bee, and fish deaths in being yet more signs of the Rapture and Second Coming of Christ.

Good thing I’m a Jew! w00t!

16 Comments

  • Is that you in the picture?

    • Let me turn that back around, akersBDG. Do you think I would have a professional photographer take a picture of me having staged sex and then post it on the internet?

  • I’m not dissing the idea or anyone who uses it but how does someone come up with this? Again, I don’t mean it in a shitty way, but I’m really curious. This is something I never would have thought of. Who says “man, I’ve gotta control my vibrator with my phone”?

  • Hadrian: it’s a solid question. I know it sounds strange, but decoupling the control from our vibe allows for limitless possibilities. It’s analogous to an old tv set with 12 stations v. HD flatscreen with a touch screen remote with Roku. Every womans body is different and responds differently to various vibration patterns. Providing the ability to “DJ” their own patterns enhances the likelihood of a strong orgasm.

    Moreover, introducing disruptive technologies in an old and often misunderstood industry helps us get the word out to a broader spectrum of customers. The fact that we have an app in the iTunes store…simply gives is some street cred and inches us closer to our stated mission of being ” the first mainstream sex toy”.

    Does that answer your question? :)

    • “and inches us closer to our stated mission of being ‘the first mainstream sex toy’”

      is it working?

  • “Good thing I’m a Jew! w00t!” That was a helluva payoff.

    This sounds pretty awesome though. I guess the only thing I’m wondering is if you’re a woman, how do you stop to change your settings without getting distracted? But if it’s for couples, I bet it’s all good.

  • wow. How far away do you have to be to still have control over the vibrator? If you can be in two completely different places I might have to try it out.

  • What would be aces is if a woman didn’t even have to hold the vibrator to herself. Then she doesn’t do anything at all but react to what you’re doing with the remote.

  • Two biggest money makers in the world are religion and sex. Props to the Ohmibod folks for taking it to the next level.

  • “Not liking orgasms is akin to hating puppies and unicorns”

    It should also a punishable offense.

    • How are you and the Mrs liking yours mate?

      • We love it! If you have an iPhone you should look into it.

  • this is cool but it’s bullshit that it’s only on Apple products.

  • They’ve made like 12 vibrators and improvements on said vibrators and still have nothing for men. Lame.

  • At least yours are wearing out their welcome instead of being rigged to explode :)

    http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpps/news/Waseca-Man-Charged-in-Attempted-Sex-Toy-Bombing-jan-6-2011_11329356

    • LOL Terry Allen Lester, also known as Kenny Fuckin Powers

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I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.

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