The man and I love a good sex toy in the bedroom because their use is only limited by comfort level and imagination. However, vibrators are the lone toys in the drawer that eventually wear out their welcome (no pun intended). With a defined number of pre-programmed patterns, you start knowing what to expect from them and where’s the fun in that?
Enter OhMiBod, a nifty pleasure product company out of New Hampshire, USA that produces vibrators designed to pulsate to the beat and rhythm of music. You can hook them up to your iPod, iPad, laptop, stereo, or anything else that plays tunes and quite literally feel music. I blogged about their first product a few years back when I couldn’t believe such a thing existed. Eventually, I got one of my own. It’s like an audiophile’s nirvana (Massive Attack’s Inertia Creeps: I honour you in so many other ways now).
Well, four years have passed and these sex hounds have undergone a serious evolution. Their most recent innovation is Body Heat – the first app for iPhone (and any other mobile device) that remotely controls vibrators.
“Body Heat is responsive to touch and movement, leaving control quite literally at the customer’s fingertips,” said Suki Dunham, founder of OhMiBod. “Gone are the days of cycling through speed, intensity, and pattern variations. With Body Heat, users can change their experiences on the fly and in real time.”
Infinite patterns, limitless intensities, and totally customisable. Suki’s speaking my language.
Now, perhaps you’re thinking, “Who needs to get off so much that they need an iPhone app?” To that I say — drop the self-righteous charade and get your mind right. Everyone wants to visit pleasure town, and whether they admit it or not, most people like getting there (with or without a partner) in new, exciting, and hopefully legal ways. Not liking orgasms is akin to hating puppies and unicorns, and throwing shade at those who are enthusiastic about them simply makes you evil, not to mention bad in bed.
Since only Androids and Blackberrys live at my house, we’ll have to make do with the technology we already have, but I still offer a huzzah to Apple for allowing a legit Ticket to Orgasms app in their store. They’re not as rigid and evil as I thought! Then again, if you’re a more religiously conservative thinker, apps like these may join all of the random bird, bee, and fish deaths in being yet more signs of the Rapture and Second Coming of Christ.
Good thing I’m a Jew! w00t!