Jan 23, 2011
Flash

Lame Women Strike Back with Mom Caves

In what is the dumbest bull I’ve read this weekend, women are now commandeering bedrooms, nooks, and even closets to create Mom Caves. It sounds like MILF porn, doesn’t it? Mom Caves II: Leave It to Cleavage. Mom Caves VI: Carnal Casserole. But alas, it’s nothing of the sort (not yet, at least).

Mom Caves allow women to escape their spouses and families so they can relax and enjoy personal pursuits such as knitting, scrapbooking, reading, and talking on the phone. Like the man cave, it is a space all their own. But instead of beer cans, recliners, and sports posters, there are incense burners, chaise lounges, and obnoxious decor vomited out of an IKEA catalog.

According to Elaine Griffin, New York City interior designer and author of “Design Rules: The Insider’s Guide to Becoming Your Own Decorator”, Mom Caves sprang up after women could no longer utilise the kitchen for alone time because it had become a social setting. No, seriously, she said that.

“It’s different from the quintessential ‘man cave,’ where men do manly, messy and sporty things, often involving a recliner. Mom Caves are fun, frankly feminine spaces, and they’re personalized.”

Here’s what you need for your Mom Cave: a place to sit, storage space, an area to do what you want to do, and room for occasional visitors. No extra rooms available? Turn a stair landing into a mini-sanctuary using narrow console tables, a luxurious rug, and a couple of armchairs.

I have a mom cave. It’s called my fucking house. Maybe my bloke and I are crazy but when either of us want to be left alone for whatever reason, we say so and the matter is settled. There are no rows or passive aggressive battles, and no one’s feelings are hurt. If his mates are over to play poker or watch the All Blacks, they aren’t relegated to a basement oasis of masculinity, and I don’t have to retreat to a sad, fuchsia and lime green coloured nook where I can knit the baby’s afghan in peace.

This gender-specific, man cave/mom cave bullshit does nothing but breed dysfunction. If he and I ever reach a point where we need designated rooms to get away from each other for hours at a time, he’ll need to take all of his sanctuary ideas and use them to decorate his new single man flat.

10 Comments

  • LOL I’m guessing the line about knitting a baby afghan is false? :)

    • Haha of course it is. The only thing I know about knitting is how to spell it.

  • I have a man cave but keeping with the control my wife has over everything else in our house, I can’t call it that because it’s offensive. If she ever turned it into a mom cave, I’d have to get a divorce.

  • I know exactly what you’re saying. It’s cool to have rooms where you do specific stuff, like workshops, crafts, writing, etc because you can’t roll everything into the living room and even if you could, you probably couldn’t concentrate. It’s the idea that you have to have rooms specifically for getting away from everybody else that sucks. It’s a sad day in any relationship if/when it comes to that.

  • If that’s what mum caves usually look like, I’m sure they’re 100% effective because no bloke in his right mind would ever set foot in it.

  • “they can relax and enjoy personal pursuits such as knitting, scrapbooking, reading, and talking on the phone”

    lol not getting the feeling that you respect any of those personal pursuits..

    • Your feeling is bang on.

  • I don’t get it. Some guys have to create man caves because their wives take over the whole house with their decorating and their stuff and there isn’t a place that’s just for them. So now women get all of that plus another room for themselves? Unless you live in a studio apartment you can find a place to be alone without this stupid shit.

  • Wow. This makes me a little sad.

  • ““It’s different from the quintessential ‘man cave,’ where men do manly, messy and sporty things, often involving a recliner.”

    So man caves are basically dirty, disgusting, and worthless dens, but there’s all kinds of value in the woman cave because she’s enjoying “personal pursuits” in her TJ Maxx closet. Elaine Griffin is full of shit.

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I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.

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