The latest “saddest news ever” comes out of South Wales, where a 29-year-old scrounger is bragging about becoming the youngest granddad in Britain. His 14-year-old daughter, who announced the news of her pregnancy on Facebook by updating her status to “looking for a pram with the mr”, is due to give birth in August.
Side note: I’m due in June. Let me tell you what this means. In 2040, when our children are about 30 years old, my child will be hard at work supporting not only this dumb twat’s baby but also her baby’s progeny, all of whom will be sexuality active by 11 years old and have at least three carjacking and drugs violations under their belts. I fucking weep.
But back to the jobless scrounger. When asked how he feels about all this, he said:
“She is very young but was determined to keep the child. We were not going to force her into doing anything else. We don’t want her to hate us. She is not the only girl at her school to become pregnant or to have a baby. We don’t blame the lad who got her pregnant – it takes two.”
The noxious stench of white trash emanates so profusely from those statements that I don’t even know where to begin, but as you’d expect, it gets worse. The pregnant girl’s mum has two other children, who will no doubt procreate soon, and lives with another jobless layabout on a council estate “where they have a flat screen TV and Blackberry mobile phones.”
Of course they do. Of course they have expensive, cutting edge technology. How could it be any other way? They can’t work and they can’t pay a bill but they’ve got Blackberrys — the smart phone of businesses everywhere — to do what? Have these exchanges with one another?
“orite!” “ye…” “wot u doin 2nite ladies” “jus angin baat” “wana cum wi us?”
Someone tell me why I work again. I thought the point of working hard all my life and going to university, law school, and business school was to ensure that I could have nice things and enjoy carefree lifestyle that allowed me to do what I want when I want without being hamstrung by worries of finance. But alas, I could have done all of that without working 14 hour days in the City. I could have had a comfortable bloody lifestyle claiming benefits, living off the taxpayers’ expense, and turning my vagina into a fucking clown car while doing fuck all in my council estate. What the fuck was I thinking? These rotters make me sick.