Jan 21, 2011

Yankees Sign Fossil Not Named Andy Pettitte

I’m starting to get the impression that Andy Pettitte doesn’t know how much I want him to come back this year.

You’d think he would’ve picked up on that when he caught me climbing into his bedroom window, or when he received all of those letters containing locks of my soft blond hair, or when I accidentally ran his wife off the road and left that “2011, DAMN IT!” sign on her face.

Some people are just so daft, but I forgive him. At least he’s staying in shape. I don’t like a sloppy man.

Anyway, the Yankees have agreed to a one year, $2M deal with CF Andruw Jones and his .931 OPS against left-handers. Remember him? He used to be a smashing piece of awesome for the Atlanta Braves. When I was 12 or 13 years old, he not only became the first visiting player since Johnny Bench to blast two home runs out of Yankee Stadium in the World Series but also the youngest player in World Series history to go yard. And now, he’s back!

I know he’s just a shell of the player he was back when he was blasting 50 homers a year and racking up Gold Gloves for his ridiculous skills in the outfield, but after 15 years, who wouldn’t be?

Oh, I know who — Andy Pettitte.


  • I like it. His defense is leaps and bounds above Marcus Thames. He’s old and somehow even at 33 past his prime but I think he’s gonna be a really nice addition.

  • He’s Randy Winn with better HOF chances. I don’t see where this gets us.

  • I don’t think it’s worth getting worked up about either way. It’s not like he’ll be playing every day. He’s the 4th option OF. We’ll see him randomly and when we do, I bet he contributes a lot better than Thames did.

  • If Jones keeps the declining the way he has in recent years, he’ll be completely worthless by the All Star break. Good luck with him.

  • When something happens to Mrs Pettitte, you’ll be suspect #1 lol


I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.


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