Feb 24, 2011
Flash

Hank Steinbrenner Doesn’t Know How Baseball Works

Public Acts of Fuckery must be in the Steinbrenner genes because after two years of calm, Hank Steinbrenner is back to take his father’s mantle as a fat, epically ignorant windbag with no hope of redemption.

Hank went after the 2010 Yankees as being unfocused and complacent. Apparently, winning the 2009 World Series spoiled them, and instead of concentrating on victories (you know, like 2010′s 95 wins + ALCS appearance), they were too worried about “building mansions.” What players are building mansions? Derek Jeter. What a jerk.

For an encore, Steinbrenner took aim at MLB’s revenue sharing programme, noting that the Yankees expect 2010 luxury tax payments to total about $130 million. Honestly, he should take issue. The tax is too lopsided,  the Yankees account for 92% of the taxes, money doesn’t go to the poorest teams, and minor market teams aren’t reinvesting the cash. But instead of saying that, Hank showed his ass:

“We’ve got to do a little something about that, and I know Bud wants to correct it in some way… Obviously, we’re very much allies with the Red Sox and the Mets, the Dodgers, the Cubs, whoever in that area…. At some point, if you don’t want to worry about teams in minor markets, don’t put teams in minor markets, or don’t leave teams in minor markets if they’re truly minor…Socialism, communism, whatever you want to call it, is never the answer.”

This, coming from someone who inherited a billion dollar franchise that dominates a monopolistic league and then took $1.2 billion in taxpayer subsidies to build a new stadium (and don’t forget the $30M from Hillsborough County, Florida taxpayers for the spring training facility). When you live in a box of hypocrisy, you know what you should do? Shut your fucking mouth. Instead, Steinbrenner bumps his gums like the kid who was born on third, thinks he hit a triple, and stopped paying attention in school the second he realised it.

Education: revenue sharing is the distribution of wealth, and regardless of what those Palin-following twats in the Tea Party try to tell you, that ain’t socialism. Socialism is the state or collective ownership of the means of production and distribution of goods. For it to take place in baseball, MLB would have to own the teams and that’s not the case.

But what’s important here isn’t Steinbrenner’s ignorance of basic political science. It’s his failure to understand that professional sports, especially sports relying on regional fan bases, are fundamentally different from other corporate structures.

Nike strives to put Reebok and Adidas out of business. Though it will never succeed, it will do everything in its power to continue increasing market share. Every customer gained, is a customer lost for its competitors, and given the power of brand loyalty, likely lost forever. Sports teams don’t have that luxury.

Eliminating teams from the minor markets leaves the Yankees with less teams to play, which means:
↓ fans of major league baseball
↓ people pretending to be fans in those $2,500 Legends seats
↓ league and team revenue – we’re reducing to about 12 markets, remember
↓ records and championships – because that’s what happens when you only play Boston, LA, Atlanta, Chicago, and the Mets
↑ fan boredom – see above
☆ Hankenstein wishes there was revenue sharing

Revenue sharing is seriously flawed, but, currently, it’s the only way to incentivise minor market owners to field decent teams, and that’s what keeps this league going. It’s not rocket science. It’s not even Lego-level science. It’s common sense. Obviously, this gorilla hasn’t any. Why he isn’t in a zoo while someone armed with a dart gun and magazine of sedatives guards his cage is beyond me.

9 Comments

  • George must be rolling over in his grave after that blasphemy Hank spewed about DJ. The loyalest of loyal servants no less. Jeter never makes derogatory comments to the media, stays out of the tabloids for negative reasons (although his list of notches in his belt seem to be well-documented in the Post), and is a constant positive influence in the locker room and community. If you’re going to throw a player under the bus, throw A-Rod by all means. Maybe that will slow his chances of being placed on the DL for an STD.

  • George was a pompous asshole but he meant what he said and he said it because he thought there was a reason. Hank makes noise trying to be like daddy. He’s failing. What happens when we don’t have a world series and an ALCS in 2 years?

  • he’s an ignorant piece of shit. hopefully he keeps up the smoking so he can join his dad.

  • He’s a neanderthal. Keeping him locked up and away from the media is Hal’s responsibility. He’s asleep at the wheel.

  • such a spoiled, silver spoon piece of shit. if this dude has any impact on running the team, you’re in trouble. it’ll be the 80s all over again.

  • Oh, so if you put something in brackets here it doesn’t show up? Fucking html, man.

    • what were you trying to do?

  • If you think he’s showing his ass now just wait until you don’t make the playoffs with that pitching staff :)

  • hahahaha @ Jacoby

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I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.

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