Mar 2, 2011
Flash

Iranian Twats: Olympics Have a Zionist Agenda

The Iranian National Olympic Committee threatened to boycott the 2012 Olympics because its secretary-general just realised that its logo, which was revealed in 2007, can be rearranged to spell the word “Zion”.

Zion is a biblical term for Jerusalem, and, by extension, the Biblical land of Israel. And veiled Zionist conspiracies, as you know, are racist – not to mention, totally rude.

“As internet documents have proved, using the word Zion in the logo of the 2012 Olympic Games is a disgracing action and against the Olympics’ valuable mottos,” the Iranian government wrote in a letter to the IOC.

At best, the logo looks like a clusterfuck of cutouts that my two year old nephew created with his plastic Crayola scissors. Wait, what am I saying? I’m a proud member of a religion with 3,000 years of beautiful tradition from Moses to Sandy¬†Koufax! That logo is definitely a swastika. I bet that cartoon villain John Galliano is behind it.

Anyway, after making claims based on things seen on the internet, which I didn’t even know was permitted in Iran, the complaint insinuates that other Muslim nations may join it in boycotting the Games. This, of course, is hilarious since these nations collectively field about 16 “athletes” who engage in a quadrennial battle to the death for last place.

“There is no doubt that negligence of the issue from your side may affect the presence of some countries in the Games, especially Iran which abides by commitment to the values and principles.”

By commitment to values and principles, the Iranians must mean Holocaust denying, plotting to wipe Israel off the map, refusing to compete against Israeli athletes, treating its own citizens like ass, and being general assholes. A nation of true morals and integrity, that one.

IOC President Jacques Rogge recently responded to Tehran’s claims with a side eye and a chuckle, which no doubt angered it, but surely not as much as Pope Benedict XVI’s decision to exonerate the Jews of killing Christ. (Talk about a moment to wipe sweat from brow. Thanks, Pope Benedict!) Clearing Jews of a 2,000 year old alleged evil is clearly proof that Christians are working with us to further our Zionist agenda. Oh noes!!

10 Comments

  • They’re just looking for an excuse to continue their isolation campaign. I hope they do boycott.

  • You’ll love this –

  • Don’t let the door hit ya on your way out, Iran. Maybe there will be less of a security threat now.

    • Or there’ll be more of one. Frankly, I think the Olympics are in danger either way. If they bomb gymnastics, track, swimming, or rugby sevens I am going to be PISSED.

  • IOC members look at each trying figure if anyone actually invited Iran in the first place.

    I for one will miss out on the 2 female “athletes” they’ll send trying to to the hurdles or breaststroke in full head to toe covering.

    • haha the female “athletes” are some gems, aren’t they? “Hey, why didn’t I clear that hurdle? Ohhh.. riiiight.”

  • I don’t get how being pro-Israel having its own land and country is racist. Maybe they need a new dictionary out there in Iran.

  • Any country that bars or limits its female athletes should be banned, plain and simple. That would take care of this pretty easily.

  • The only thing the logo shows is the lack of anything approaching good aesthetic sense on the part of the designer and those responsible for adopting it.

  • Alright…we’ll let it slide this time, Jews. The next time you decide to fuck with one of our prophets, we may have to do something extreme though. How’s 2000 years of oppression sound?

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I am a jaded, sarcastic girl prone to unreasonable fits of rage. This site is my outlet. I am not classy, nice, or fair. It's best you know that up front.

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