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When the Taliban was temporarily stifled in 2001, a more egalitarian notion of women's rights took hold in Afghanistan. Women could walk around without burqas; they could vote; they could even escape abusive marriages by seeking refuge in women's shelters. But having rights didn't protect them from abuse. According to non-governmental agencies, nearly 90% of Afghan women have experienced domestic abuse. Since Afghanistan is a patriarchal society trapped in the stone age, these stats are really no surprise. 

What is surprising, however, is that Ron Artest has come to their defense. Yes, that Ron Artest. The mercurial basketball player with the emotional stability of a bag of rats in a burning meth lab. Over the last few years, he's become known for strong defense and:

• ripping a phone out of press row
  
• smashing a $100,000 camera in a fit of rage
• drawing 8 suspensions between 2002 - 2004.
• starting a near riot in the Palace at Auburn Hills
• neglecting his animals
• abusing and confining his wife
• running up on Kobe Bryant in Lakers' locker room shower
  
• being generally violent and insane

Now, he has written and performed a song called "Afghan Girl," which calls attention to the plight of many Afghan women.

Warning: Video contains uncomfortable and graphic images.

 

Too many of our athletes and celebrities sit idly on the sidelines even though they have platforms to affect change, so Artest deserves a lot of credit for what he's trying to do here. The problem, however, is his execution is a hot ass mess loaded to the gills with irony and awkward moments.

• Problem 1 - rapping about the horrors of domestic abuse while wearing a wife beater
• Problem 2 - rapping about the horrors of domestic abuse when he is, in fact, a convicted domestic abuser
• Problem 3 - using horribly misdirected lyrics, which give the impression that he wants to salve the wounds of abuse with his penis. NOT GOOD.
  
• "I wish I was there so you could feel me/run my fingers through your hair through your hair/caress your face to show you that I care"
• "Cupid open up the door. And if you do so, she will want more. If you want it, you know she got it stocked in store."
  
• Problem 4 - juxtaposing disturbing images of abused women with shots of him rapping serenely in a park
• Problem 5 - rapping with a flow that is as brutal as the subject matter
  

I know that for Ron Artest, (in)sanity is a rapidly fluctuating continuum, so people might be afraid to speak up when he's making woeful choices. But sometimes you need to protect a man from himself by putting on your bullet proof vest, helmet and other protective gear and saying, "Hey Ron, I appreciate what you've got going on here but let's find another way. Try speaking to the media, visiting Afghanistan or raising money for awareness. Do anything but rap because bro, you've got less than zero skills and listening to you try gives me a massive case of the sads."

Here's Dennis Rodman being a hot tranny mess at his "Rodmania" Halloween Party last night.

One would think that at age 46, Dennis would know that the whole point of Halloween is to wear a costume that is creative, funny, shocking, outrageous, or, if you're me and any other woman under 30, strongly indicates that you're suffering from a severe case of the sluts. Rolling up to your own party in your regular get-up and Tina Turner's hair from Mad Max is NOT a costume.

Come on, Dennis. It's time to raise your game and give us something new. You didn't even get your nails done! This tired shit is so 1998. Two thumbs down on this non-effort.

Here are some other gems:

HT: Dlisted 

Who's down?

Look, I know the New York Knicks play like stir-fried shit 9 times out of ten but how would you like the opportunity to boo Isiah Thomas, Starbury, AND Stevie Franchise for less stress and money than it costs to listen to your significant other babble about inanities over dinner? I'm sure you've heard the stories about the crazy bitch from her job that's trying to destroy her one too many times now. It's time to change things up a bit.

I've been alerted to a promotion offering tickets at MSG for half off. These aren't Spike Lee's seats, mind you, but if you're normally in the market for $66.50 or $44.50 seats, then check out this promotion... it starts tonight when the Knickerbockers take on the Seattle Supersonics.

Promotion Schedule
3/6 vs. Seattle Supersonics
3/16 vs. New Orleans / Oklahoma City Hornets
3/22 vs. Portland TrailBlazers
3/26 vs. Orlando Magic
4/4 vs. Philadelphia 76ers

Go to the ticket/schedule page - http://www.nba.com/knicks/schedule/ - and enter promo code MARBURY (all caps, just like he would like it) to score a cheap night at MSG. And if you can't rationalize the expense (or the time waste), then keep thinking "fifty percent off" to yourself until you magically see the light. If necessary, throw "and delicious nachos" in there as well... that always does the trick for me.

I've been laying here watching the History Channel for the better part of three hours... why? Because the History Channel is the balls. That's why.

When they followed "Nixon - A Presidency Revealed" with Modern Marvels I expected something about bridges or rivets, but the subject was George Washington Carver Tech. It sounded interesting enough. I knew little of Carver beyond what I learned in school and often read that it's difficult to tell where the truth of his life's achievements ended and the myth began, so I perked up a little. 

Ten or fifteen minutes in, a familiar face appeared on the screen -- David Robinson. Momentarily confused, I checked to make sure I hadn't changed the channel. Nope - still on channel 40. This must be a commercial then; what is The Admiral endorsing that is fit for the geek documentary crowd? Well, oops. That wasn't the case either. Credited simply as "David Robinson, NBA Star," The Admiral joined historians, botanists, and scholars as an expert on George Washington Carver.

I'll be honest with you, I didn't see that one coming.

Robinson spoke with passion about Carver's life, legacy, and accomplishments and appeared to have such a ridiculous breadth of knowledge that I started to wonder if the History Channel really needed to interview anyone else. I then figured that they added the historians to shield attention away from the fact that viewers were getting punched in the mouth with knowledge and opinion from a basketball player. But after considering that, I realized that 90% of the people watching this channel at 7 pm on a Saturday wouldn't have recognized him anyway.

"We are standing on the shoulders of Giants and Carver is one of those giants for us. We don't have to reinvent the wheel. What we do is we stand on that foundation that's already been laid; it's a great foundation. Carver's laid some blocks for us but we have to continue to take that tradition further." ~ The Admiral drops wisdom

As it turns out, he and his wife founded a private school in San Antonio called The Carver Academy that utilizes many of Carver's teaching techniques to provide education to K-6th graders.

Anyway, is this a first -- the professional athlete speaking intelligently about a historical figure that neither appeared in a video game nor served as a mentor/coach? If this has happened before, please excuse my ignorance. Frankly, before 7 pm tonight, I wouldn't have thought this was possible. It's not even that I think athletes are stupid or lack knowledge extending beyond their craft; I just can't imagine any being called for an interview for a program attempting to educate people. How does that even come about?? Who signs off on that?

"Okay, we'll need some experts for George Washington Carver's inventions on Modern Marvels. What've we got?" "Well, there's the tour guide from the Carver Memorial, a professor from the Tuskegee Institute, a botanist from UGA, an author on Carver's legend, and, uh, David Robinson."
"David Robinson. What school is he from?"
"... the San Antonio Spurs..."

If there was any athlete I'd expect to pull expert duty on an issue not involving athletics or weed, it'd be David Robinson. As far as I'm aware, he's the most intelligent, well-educated professional athlete of our time, at least, of those that are noteworthy... but still, this shit is bizarre and leads further credence to my belief that the world is about to come to a violent, tragic end.

I was wondering if you could help me understand something -- what is the point of the celebrity apology? It's not remotely valid and most people dismiss it as such but we still demand it. Why? After a person exposes him or herself as an ignorant bigot, there is no stuffing the cat back in the bag. Does the apology make us feel better? Is there proof that it actually improves a situation? Is someone out there actually learning a lesson beyond "I'd better not tell people what I really think!"

We've been bombarded by the news and resulting outrage of Tim Hardaway's arbitrary bigotry and intolerance since late Wednesday night. He hates homosexuals. He hates the idea of them. Not only does he want them kept far away from himself and his team, but he also thinks they shouldn't be in the world OR the United States.

That's a pretty ironic stance for a bloke named Hardaway with crossover "skeels" that spent six years in the Bay Area before choosing to live every year since in South Beach... a homophobe deciding on the gay capitals of America as the best places to live and work makes about as much sense as a neo-Nazi seeking out the good life in Skokie, Illinois... Judging by the looks of his wife, you really couldn't blame him... but moving on...

A few hours after his interview with Dan LeBetard, Hardaway dropped this non-apology/diversion attempt on a radio station:

"Yes, I regret it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said I hate gay people, or anything like that. That was my mistake... There are more important things to worry about than my comments. We should be more concerned about President (George) Bush and all the people dying in Iraq."

So over the course of maybe four hours, Hardaway admits to being a homophobic cunt and then reinforces his comments by essentially saying, "I still hate the gays but I kinda regret telling everybody... but... uh... George Bush! *runs away*" While that really ought to be enough (he couldn't be in a deeper hole), people were still asking for an apology. For what purpose? He was honest about being a rotten, vile fuck and now we want him to take it back as if that will help cushion the blow. Enter the agent, stepping in 18 hours later to give Timmy a sudden moment of clarity -- a moment of impressively articulate clarity:

"As an African-American, I know all too well the negative thoughts and feelings hatred and bigotry cause. I regret and apologize for the statements that I made that have certainly caused the same kinds of feelings and reactions. I especially apologize to my fans, friends and family in Miami and Chicago. I am committed to examining my feelings and will recognize, appreciate and respect the differences among people in our society. I regret any embarrassment I have caused the league on the eve of one of their greatest annual events."

Who is buying into that garbage? Listen to the guy -- he's not articulate enough to order a fucking pizza without a cheat sheet and yet here he is a day later talking about knowing "all too well the negative thoughts" and examining feelings. Tim Hardaway can't spell bigotry let alone use it in a grammatically correct sentence but there are mental defectives out there saying, "I knew Timmy Hardaway was a good guy! I knew he didn't mean it. He's a stand-up guy apologizing like that!" To make matters worse, there are others commenting about how "that's a good place to start."
 
Where are these people and why can't we shoot them?

He is not a stand up guy and there is no good place to start. Tim Hardaway is an unapologetic bigot with an agent trying to run damage control. He's not sorry he feels that way; he's sorry he ran his mouth in front of an on-air ESPN personality. What does it help to hear/read his words of regret (as penned by one of the interns working for his agent)? And if it doesn't help, why issue an apology at all? It's not as if "well it's the nice thing to do" really applies at this point... I just don't get it.