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June 27, 2005Jeremy Roenick is a StoogeI was gonna make fun of the delusional Jeremy Roenick for being the epitome of the spoiled, cocky professional athlete that he claims does not exist:"If people are going to sit and chastise pro athletes for being cocky, they need to look at one thing and that's the deal we're going to be signing in about three weeks," Roenick said. "Pro athletes are not cocky. Pro athletes care about the game. Everybody out there who calls us spoiled because we play a game, they can kiss my ass. I will say personally, to everybody who calls us spoiled, you guys are just jealous. We're trying to get this thing back on the ice and make it better for the fans. If you don't realize that, then don't come. We don't want you in the rink, we don't want you in the stadium, we don't want you to watch hockey."but then I realized it was like shooting fish in a barrel and I don't have time for it anyway. A little more than 28 years ago, my parents met at a rugby game at Oxford University between Oxford and Yale. My dad was a Yalie winger and started romancing my mum after spotting her in the stands at the game. They did a cross-Atlantic penpalship for a year and then married. At their 21st anniversary, they'd officially been married more than half their lives. I remember asking my dad if that was depressing but when he took more than a half second to respond, my mother hit him. He then immediately said no. My dad learns lessons quickly - I think this is one of the secrets to marriage and I've also taken special care not to mention that fact again. For some unknown reason, I thought this was their 25th anniversary (I thought that last year, too). While I should probably express open shame about not being on top of that, I instead choose to blame it all on my older sister, as she is in charge of buying a suitable gift for them every year and really ought to be responsible for making sure that I, the youngest product of this union, am aware of what's happening. In any case, today is their 27th wedding anniversary and I'd like to offer congratulations to my Mum and Dad. Even though they gross me out by being all into each other like they are, I couldn't be happier that they've managed to stay happily married after all these years. Good on ya Mum and Dad! Way to go! -------- Original Comments 
Posted on 27 June 2005
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April 15, 2005Wednesday NightersSome middle-aged Canucks in a beer league called the "Wednesday Nighters" are suing for the rights to play for the Stanley Cup... trouble for the Nighters is, well, aside from their age, lack of skill, naivete, and whatever side effects come with Cialis, they don't have goalies. This is a shot in the dark but that just may hurt their credibility with the courts."We do not take this lightly," said Gard Shelley, an amateur hockey player in his mid-50s. ... "I'm frustrated as most hockey fans are that the NHL and the NHLPA lost the season. I don't know which side of that issue I'm on. I'm just frustrated with the fact that there is no hockey being played. I don't think that's what Lord Stanley intended. I think he had a higher purpose for his donation."  Surely, the Nighters are in the realm of Lord Stanley's higher purpose. The good thing is that if they win their suit, the Nighters will be ready to go, as they plan to battle for the Cup in classic white jerseys vs. black style... Spy vs. Spy may also volunteer their services in order to add a little flavor to the outing. No goalies... unbelievable. Tomorrow I'm gonna go out and try to bowl with no pins. Maybe they'll let me on the PBA tour. -------- Original Comments
Posted on 15 April 2005
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